Thursday, October 9, 2008

Someone Like Me!!

I saw a woman being interviewed today on CNN who was ga-ga over Sarah Palin. Ever since she first laid eyes on her she was head over heels.

This, according to the reporter, is an indication that Palin speaks to a certain demographic, in this case middle aged blue collar women; evangelical middle aged blue collar women. That's been her appeal all along. Not that she's qualified for this office. Not that she has the kind of knowledge and experience we usually demand in a vice presidential candidate. No, it's because "she's just like me."

I understand this. I want a candidate who is like me, as well. Which means first of all a "he," not a "she." That's what I am. I'm a "he."

He also has to be well educated and well traveled; have midwestern roots and like to listen to NPR. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me will be his favorite show. His musical tastes should run to new age (instrumental only) for background music while reading, classic rock when he wants to kick back and let loose, the Waifs to get into a zone.

He has to be a Christian. Evangelical, but leaning more left than right. Politically progressive.

As for tastes in food and clothing, well, I'm a blue jeans kind of guy. He should be too. And pizza. He has to like pizza. Lot's of pizza. And Indian curry. The hotter the better.

That's the person I'm looking for. Someone who meets most if not all of those criteria.

If, perchance, I can't find someone like that, well, then I just won't vote. That'll show em. It'll show those Republicans and Democrats that next time they go to all the expense of running a big national campaign, they need to keep my kind of person in mind.

Experience in working with congress? Doesn't matter. Proven leadership abilities? Not important. Broad knowledge of national and international affairs. Who cares? The only thing that matters is that it be someone like me. I will only vote for someone like me . . .

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